


Deduced

by paperscribe



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperscribe/pseuds/paperscribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hathaway and Lewis meet a certain consulting detective. Lewis has a bit of fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deduced

Lewis and Hathaway were standing and having a chat just outside the doors of a pub when an annoyed-looking dark-haired man said, "Yes, thank you, some of us would like to get inside before we die of hypothermia!"

"Calm down, lad. All you had to say was 'excuse me'," Lewis said.

"How many times before you would actually hear me?" the dark-haired man asked. He was wearing a purple scarf and his coat collar was turned up. Hathaway felt as though he should recognize the man from somewhere. "If there's one thing pensioners don't easily part with, it's a venue for storytelling."

"You don't know I'm a pensioner," Lewis retorted.

The dark-haired man spun round as if he'd been challenged. "Late fifties. Formerly married, now dating a blonde, but not the one you're standing with. Interesting. Current significant other slightly younger than you, which you're insecure about even though she isn't. You have a cat. You're slightly allergic to him but you've convinced yourself that if you wash your hands after you touch him it'll be fine. Originally from Tyneside, but you haven't lived there in quite a while. You and your friend were both police officers but now he's an academic and you've retired. Tell me again there's something I don't know about you."

Hathaway's eyebrows lifted, but Lewis shrugged, looking unimpressed. "Anyone can do that."

The dark-haired man bristled visibly. "I beg your pardon?"

Lewis turned round to look at the other man. "Let's see. Young man…thirty-five, I'd say, though you can seem younger when you want to. You're good at pretending but you don't do it unless it's to achieve some other end, because most of the time you don't care how you seem. Aside from being just a bit vain." He gestured to the man's clothes. "You do pride yourself on dressing better than your partner though. His jumpers make you twitch every time you look at them. Posh accent, so you come from money and you've been to public school. You live in London and don't have much patience for anywhere life moves more slowly. The calluses on your fingers tell me you play the violin, but you haven't been playing much lately. Bit cranky, which means you're going through one of your many nicotine withdrawals, and you being in Oxford at all means you haven't got a case to work on right now, which doesn't help your mood. Oh, did I mention you're a detective and also a bit of a prat?" Lewis had his hands in his pockets and looked entirely unflappable.

The dark-haired man was staring at him.

"I'm going to buy you a drink," he said without preamble and made his way into the pub, door swinging shut behind him.

Hathaway leant closer to Lewis, voice hushed. "How did you do that?"

Lewis suppressed a smile, but not entirely. "That's Sherlock Holmes, and I read his partner's blog. Don't tell."

Hathaway smiled, following Lewis into the pub. "I wouldn't dare."


End file.
